Friday, 3 June 2011

Facts About Long Distance Relationships

It is tough to be in a long distance relationship. There are two main issues in this kind of relationship: TRUST and COMMITMENT. Nobody is excused. Both parties must have these two in order for their relationship to work or else questions like... “Who’s right beside him at this very moment?” “Why is he not calling me yet?” “What is he doing right now?” “Is he sleeping with someone else?” plus a thousand more questions will haunt your mind. Paranoia comes into play.  Then you have your friends who will add more mind bugging thoughts that will torture you even more. So next, you’re going to ask, "Is there a possibility for this relationship to work?". Of course. It is difficult although NOT impossible.  But first I must warn you that this kind of relationship is not for the faint of heart or for someone who is into physical intimacy rather than emotional attachment. Thus, if you are into kissing, hugging, and making love then it will intensify your suffering. But if you are more on the emotional attachment then I think you can survive. Are you ready??

Here are the top 8 secrets to keep your relationship 
(I call it the 8Ms):

1)     Maintaining communication – This will make you feel nearer to each other. Modern technologies have advanced in the past few years giving us so many ways to contact our love ones from afar. Phone calls, text messaging, e-mailing, or by using Skype are some of the recommended means of communication. The traditional way of communication like writing a letter would also be good.

2)    Make sure to be open to each other – It is the time where you can develop and maintain strong emotional connection with your partner. Share your feelings about the status of your relationship, your expectations from him and vice versa, the dreams that you both have and your aspirations in life.

3)   Maximize the things that you do together – Listen to the same music, watch the same TV program, or you can even play games together. EXPLORE. There are a lot of exciting things that you can do together even when you are away from each other.

4)     Must AVOID the temptation to be controlling – If you start controlling your partner, it will cause pressure in your relationship. He will feel suffocated and might push him to rebel. You don’t want that to happen right?

5)  Mesmerize him on special occasions – Important events like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, New Year and others.  Think of something he would never expect from you. It maybe something that you have to do, something you have to give, or something that he is waiting for you to say. Women always do exceptional things for love. So surprise him with the best gift you can give. In this way, he will never forget that special moment.

6)   Make yourself busy – You have to take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers like spending more time with your family, hang out with your friends, picking a new hobby, reading a best-selling novel, or nursing a new pet. It will be an additional topic that you can talk about to your partner.

7)    Manage to talk about your future together – Share each other’s plans and hopes. Talk about the time when the both of you will finally be together again to keep the excitement alive.

8)     Must be optimistic – You must have full confidence on your relationship. Believe in it if you truly think that he is your soul mate. Apply the law of attraction –think that you are so in love with each other and that both of you will be reunited very soon and live happily ever after... sounds like a fairy tale? ... BE POSITIVE and let it happen.

Keep in mind that it needs a lot of hard work, patience and most especially FAITH from the both of you for the relationship to work. You have to believe that what you have is greater than the miles between the two of you, something that is worth all the pain and struggle. And that time doesn’t matter, it is the momentous instant when both of you see each other again.


  1. Thanks for the tips, but it takes two to tango. :)

  2. @ Jolly Princess: You're welcome. Yes, I agree with you at least if we do our part and still the relationship fails then we know that it is not our fault and that he is not meant to be. Thanks for commenting and have a great day.:)

  3. Thanks so much for the tip! But long distance relationship doesn't really work for me. :(


  4. @ Grysh Co: You are most welcome. I understand what you mean and majority would rather go for proximal relationship because it is more manageable. Thanks for leaving a comment. Have a good one! :)

  5. Kudos to anyone who can do wouldnt work for me...we like to see each other constantly and guess its working because we are married 37 years...and still in love...

  6. @ BeaderBubbe: Sadly, nowadays most relationships/marriages even if they reach 37 years, they feel the bitter part more the the feeling of love and affection towards their partner. You have a great love story to tell. Hope you can share it with us. Thank you for leaving such an inspiring comment. Have a great day! :)

  7. I love this post. It's so true. Before my husband and I got married we had a long distance relationship and did all of the tips you listed above. =)

    *Check out my giveaway:

  8. @ D. Sadie: Congratulations to you and your husband! A great example that LDR works. Thank you for dropping by and posting a comment. :)

    I will surely visit your website.
    Have a good one! :)

  9. nice tips...thanks for sharing ! :)

  10. @ Kitty: It is always a pleasure to share tips to my readers. Thanks for your sweet comment.:)

  11. I love this post. Im currently in a VERY long distance relationship; I am in England, he is in Australia. These tips are perfect and are the exact reasons we have survived the past 8 months. Now we only have two more months before we can be together again, and having survived the distance we are now stronger than ever. Noone ever believes that it can work, but as long as you trust your partner, and you make the effort, then it can be easier than you'd think.

  12. @ Tashacleary: I am so excited for you both and I perfectly agree with you that trust and effort makes the situation easier. You have the traits on how to make it work so ---Congratulations! Two months is just around the corner so get ready Tashacleary! ;) Thank you for sharing and have a great day.

  13. Long distance relationnship is what i am currently involve right now. there are times that i feel like to quit but it makes me also think that it might be worth it. I'm really not the type of person that would always hold a relationship, i am happy living my life but this caught me out. he just got back in his hometown and not seeing him 60 days after we've been together is actually crazy. i met him last year of august when he had his vacation here, we still continue talk until he left and before long he told me his coming back. After 9 months of constant communication we finally saw each other again. It was a very happy one month for the both of us. We got everything formalized, and it made the waiting worth it. Everyday we're together and it was amazing because i am knowing more about him in different kind of situations. It seems like we doesn't even know that one of us is going to leave soon. Though i know that he, i am just not showing it and continue live day by day as myself with him. Now that he already left, it actually sucks. I feel like all this communication mediums doesn't work with me anymore. I know that i'm not the only one whose feeling it, because i know he feel the same too. He just maybe doesn't want to admit it because this is the only thing we have for now. I dont want to be selfish but i don't think this would work me, the long distance. It's very difficult for the both of us to think of right way that we should do, i want to be with him but i don't think i could give a lot of me because im scared that it might not be worth it after all, or im just really scared to get hurt that's why i always place myself in the safe ground. As of situation, i am very thankful to have a man that would somehow comeback here personally and see that there's really something between us that should be taken seriously. And yes, i agree. There is really. I'm happy because i'm also given a chance to show that somehow i could love a person. It just sucks feeling sad everyday, you know you both are making the best of effort to connect with each other, to feel each others presence but still wont work. I'm actually thinking of getting back to my old self because i don't want to get drown on this. I may sound selfish but i just don't want this feeling of sadness because it sucks. I don't want him to give up a lot of things because its an opportunity for him, i keep on saying that i could wait and we're gonna make it but i sound like the first person to give up now. I don't want him to lose the things that he should have for this, i want him to get and to work on everything that he deserve in life. I don't want any of his life opportunity to be sacrifice for this. I can't promise anything as huge as he can do. I know that i would still look out for myself first and i'm very thankful because he understand and respect that. I just dont know what to do or think anymore. I think i need to realize something for me to get my grip on this relationship really tight because i am obviously caught by this man right now.

  14. @ Christine: The feeling of quitting means you lack faith in yourself and in your relationship. You have to TRULY know what you feel is right for the both of you. If you feel that you need to let him go and retreat to your old self then... do it. If it makes you comfortable. But make sure to let him understand. Tell him how you want him to succeed in whatever he is doing without any distraction. From there on, both of you can go on your own separate ways just like before. BUT, if you have this strong feeling that he is the ONE ...then you have to HANG ON AND BE STRONG. Avoid negative thoughts and give love a chance. I do hope you make the right decision Christine. Have a splendid one! :)