STAY HAPPILY MARRIED

Congratulations and best wishes to all the newlyweds who are reading this article!  And for those who are married for quite some time now ... how’s it going? Marriage is not a bed of roses or a piece of chocolate cake, (hmmm...) I can tell you that. But what makes some couples stay happily married? Here are a few points I’ve read from an editorial column which I would like to share with you:

-MARRIAGE CREED-

©    Treasure Your Union – Remember the first time you dated with your spouse? How you felt that night and how you don’t want the night to end? It is good that once in a while you have to reminisce those dating days with your spouse because it will give you a romantic mood.

©   Listen To Each Other – Pay attention not only to words but also to the expression and mood of your partner. Learn to listen to understand rather than listening to argue and NEVER ignore.

©  Caress As You Would Be Caressed – I’m talking about physical warmth and affection, your comforting touch that will make him/her feel loved and wanted. Remember, marriages fade from lack of closeness. So what are you waiting for? Make a move and give him/her a kiss, a hug, and a snuggle. The best time to do it is NOW. J

©  Provide Each Other Appreciation – “You look beautiful” “Thanks honey (or whatever you call each other)” “I like your haircut” and a lot more. Appreciating your partner will make him/her feel comforted and admired in a deeper way.

©    Love One Another – The best thing you can give your partner is the gift of Love. Genuine love is priceless, more precious than a fancy car or a diamond ring.

©   Express And Be Open With Each Other – Secrets create suspicion and doubt which will lead to an argument or a fight. It is best to be open and share moments to your spouse, in this way doubt and suspicion will not be able to destroy your relationship.

©   Allow The Other To Be An Individual – Each of you is a unique being with different characteristics. Accepting the other as they are, as you would have yourself accepted.

©   Soothe Each Other – Provide a sanctuary and refuge for each other. It is one of the benefits of marriage that you both can enjoy for a lifetime.

©   Empathize And Respect Each Other’s Rights – Each is entitled to his/her own preferences and must be responsible for the results of the choices that have been made.  Value your partner's rights and he/she will do it in return.

In conclusion, both should work on it and must be genuine to one another. You will always encounter arguments and fights but in the end, love will be the strongest and deepest element in marriage, the foundation of your union. Cherish it!

Two such as you with such a master speed

Cannot be parted nor be swept away

From one another once you are agreed

That life is only life forevermore

Together wing to wing and oar to oar.

-ROBERT FROST-

*By the way, I added a secret message on the Marriage Creed. 

Decode it and apply it in your marriage.  Enjoy! J

RESPONSIBLE YOU

“You are responsible for your own actions...” I guess you’ve heard this statement before. This line MUST persistently play in our minds every time we have to make an important decision. I’m not talking about deciding what clothes to wear or what movie to watch but something that is life-changing. 

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you were so frustrated just because you listened to someone else’s advice and it turned out to be a fiasco? That you should have listened to your intuition? Well, don’t blame the poor fella ‘coz what that person did was just to give you an advice---it is up to you whether to take it or not. Accept the responsibility of your own action and stop making excuses. We have to learn from our mistakes and move on. It is good to ask for opinions from others especially if we are having difficulty to decide on our own, in fact, it is encouraged by many. But we have to REMEMBER ONE THING; we are the one who is in the situation therefore we must know better than the others.  No one is in-charge of our life but us, not even our husband or our very best friend or even our friendly neighbour, just us. The reason why we are who we are right now is because we decided it to be. It is a fact that people around us are capable of influencing us but the last decision is always in our hands.

In my humble opinion, to become a responsible person, we have to learn to think in responsible ways, and throw out immature ideas.

"Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility . . . . In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility." — Michael Korda

BEST FRIENDS

What are best friends?

According to Urban Dictionary – “Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.”

I remember when I was experiencing a bad day; I would go straight to my best friend’s doorstep and be with her to ease my mood no matter what time it was. We’d talk for hours about anything and everything. In other occasions, she would call me to meet up for dinner and spend time talking about her love life. We have always been there for each other. However, life has to move on... I got married and I have to move to a different country.  Now that we are miles apart, we still communicate through social websites and phone calls.  

It is easy to find a friend; you can find them on the streets, in a mall, at a coffee shop, or even inside a beauty salon but REMEMBER: real friends are like treasures, they are hard to find. It takes time...a lot of time... to be able to build the bond and trust. These are the important ingredients of a good friendship. Once you built that strong connection, you have to be able to trust each other despite any circumstance that may occur. Of course, there will be times when your friendship will be tested. There will be arguments and fights but these are just trials. In the end, genuine friendship will last.

6 ways to treasure friendship

Be trustworthy.

Give positive advices.

Be fair, honest and open.

Treat them with respect.

Accept them for who they are.

BE THERE FOR THEM.

Facts About Long Distance Relationships

It is tough to be in a long distance relationship. There are two main issues in this kind of relationship: TRUST and COMMITMENT. Nobody is excused. Both parties must have these two in order for their relationship to work or else questions like... “Who’s right beside him at this very moment?” “Why is he not calling me yet?” “What is he doing right now?” “Is he sleeping with someone else?” plus a thousand more questions will haunt your mind. Paranoia comes into play.  Then you have your friends who will add more mind bugging thoughts that will torture you even more. So next, you’re going to ask, "Is there a possibility for this relationship to work?". Of course. It is difficult although NOT impossible.  But first I must warn you that this kind of relationship is not for the faint of heart or for someone who is into physical intimacy rather than emotional attachment. Thus, if you are into kissing, hugging, and making love then it will intensify your suffering. But if you are more on the emotional attachment then I think you can survive. Are you ready??

Here are the top 8 secrets to keep your relationship 

"ALIVE AND KICKING"

(I call it the 8Ms):

1)     Maintaining communication – This will make you feel nearer to each other. Modern technologies have advanced in the past few years giving us so many ways to contact our love ones from afar. Phone calls, text messaging, e-mailing, or by using Skype are some of the recommended means of communication. The traditional way of communication like writing a letter would also be good.

2)    Make sure to be open to each other – It is the time where you can develop and maintain strong emotional connection with your partner. Share your feelings about the status of your relationship, your expectations from him and vice versa, the dreams that you both have and your aspirations in life.

3)   Maximize the things that you do together – Listen to the same music, watch the same TV program, or you can even play games together. EXPLORE. There are a lot of exciting things that you can do together even when you are away from each other.

4)     Must AVOID the temptation to be controlling – If you start controlling your partner, it will cause pressure in your relationship. He will feel suffocated and might push him to rebel. You don’t want that to happen right?

5)  Mesmerize him on special occasions – Important events like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, New Year and others.  Think of something he would never expect from you. It maybe something that you have to do, something you have to give, or something that he is waiting for you to say. Women always do exceptional things for love. So surprise him with the best gift you can give. In this way, he will never forget that special moment.

6)   Make yourself busy – You have to take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers like spending more time with your family, hang out with your friends, picking a new hobby, reading a best-selling novel, or nursing a new pet. It will be an additional topic that you can talk about to your partner.

7)    Manage to talk about your future together – Share each other’s plans and hopes. Talk about the time when the both of you will finally be together again to keep the excitement alive.

8)     Must be optimistic – You must have full confidence on your relationship. Believe in it if you truly think that he is your soul mate. Apply the law of attraction –think that you are so in love with each other and that both of you will be reunited very soon and live happily ever after... sounds like a fairy tale? ... BE POSITIVE and let it happen.

Keep in mind that it needs a lot of hard work, patience and most especially FAITH from the both of you for the relationship to work. You have to believe that what you have is greater than the miles between the two of you, something that is worth all the pain and struggle. And that time doesn’t matter, it is the momentous instant when both of you see each other again.

What is your role in your relationship? As a woman how would you know if you really have control over your own relationship?